What makes you happy ?

An article in The Independent on the falling circulation figures of men’s mags. I used to buy FHM and I used to really like it. The main reason I stopped wasn’t the price as that was about the same. It was the fact it turned into a catalogue.
The index went further and further into the mag as they filled it full of ads. Every other page was ads. They adopted a technique of saying ‘continued on page 72′ just so readers would see more ads. They had more ‘features’ on clothing and accessories. And these ‘features’ always had really expensive gear that I could never afford. Those pages actively irritated me. It’s one thing to flip through pages about DVD’s, games, health drinks and how Tesco is cheap and quite another to see 200 quid trainers, shirts that cost a week’s wage, snowboards, jetskis and similar. Those pages alienated me. Grub Smith and really expensive gear? How do they go together then?

They had less interesting stuff to read.
Or maybe they had the same but it became diluted by the mass of glossy ‘buy me!’ around it.

The solution for me and FHM is simple – cut the ads.
Getting rid completely is obviously not on, but they could reduce them to a level which meant the mag was profitable and readers didn’t feel like an expedition was needed to find the content.

Here’s what they do – they weigh the first 12 issues of FHM. They weigh the last 12 issues. They set the former as a goal. Easy.

Janet opened her eyes – Florida’s prehistoric glare dazzled outside the motel window.

What’s a ‘prehistoric glare’ ?

I’m a chapter in and that first sentence of the book is just plain odd. It’s jarring.
So it’s bright (I can get that), it dazzles (okay, with that too) and it’s outside (no problem). But ‘prehistoric’ ?
Maybe ‘glare’ means it’s staring hard at her. Through the window. Brightly.

Do I visualise really old sunshine? How would I know? Sunbeams (“Don’t call me sunbeam sonny!”) just strolling instead of zooming? Does it stand and wait in the Post Office first? Does it moan about light not being what it was in the olden days?
Are there dinosaurs involved?
Is the motel run by Fred and Wilma?

The book: all families are psychotic by Douglas Coupland

The guy behind the till said I could buy mini eggs if I wanted but he’d have to get them from the back. Easter bunny porn? No – instructions from on high that you can’t have easter before Christmas so no eggs on display until Boxing Day. How did I get hold of said Creme Egg? There were 4 tills, each with two boxes of them. Tricky to miss the build-up to Easter really.

I like Amazon. Like it a lot. Don’t buy a whole lot from it but it’s a decent place for reviews at least. Books are good but on Amazon I could wishlist it or click away. It was all I could do in Borders today to not ask for a trolley.
I like books anyway but with so many out for the spending season I could spend so much on them. So many books, so little time. Though I must say I’m not keen on hardbacks. There’s something about a hardback that yells BOOK! which a paperback doesn’t do. A paperback doesn’t force a reading position on you, it has only the one cover unlike hardbacks which look naked without their ‘dustjacket’ (what a quaint word), a paperback is easier to carry, easier to pack into a bag. And a paperback becomes more friendly as you read it and your presence starts to tell on it. A pristine paperback is an unread book. So it was a shame that most of the books I wanted were indeed in hardback. I shall wait…. the publishers will weaken to consumer demand :)

I read a book called A Million Little Pieces when it appeared in paperback and was moved by it. Certain phrases and situations resonated with me and the time in my life was significant too. I’ll have blogged how good it was somewhere. But then James Frey was exposed as a Liar after an investigation which I read about on TheSmokingGun. I blogged this at the time:

The Smoking Gun discover that James Frey made it all up.
That guy is a complete bastard for lying then and now.

And he still is.

So much so that people in the US can claim a refund for the book. It states “neither Frey nor the publisher have admitted any wrongdoing.” which is of course complete bollocks – why else refund people? Why give them their money back unless a deception has been caused? The thing is as well that his publisher seems to be standing with him – like they knew and accepted the lies before they let the book out the first time.

It also says:

To receive refunds — $23.95 for the hardcover, $14.95 for paperback — consumers will have to submit a receipt or some other proof of purchase: for the hardcover, page 163; for the paperback, the front cover.

What’s with page 163? The front cover would be easier to remove if it had the face of James ‘Liar’ Frey on it.

It’s either a memoir with acceptable filling where memory has lapsed, or it’s an outright and deceitful lie.

In the book Frey describes having root canal work without anaesthetic because he felt he should experience the pain because of what he had done to others. I suggest that happens again.

I was looking for a book to read in the hotel shop. I picked one up to find a recommendation from Kate Moss that the book was a “riveting read”. Quite how a publisher thought that a quote from the girl who thinks shooting up with Pete “I’m a doe-eyed idiot who needs my head slamming against a wall” Doherty is worthy of note is entirely beyond me. I can honestly say that I put that book down and would never touch it again. Mind, in Borders today I caught sight of a book that was being recommended by Katie Price. Maybe it’s part of a “Blonde and can read” campaign…

Listening to Moyles two days ago at the gym had me searching this morning for something other then music to listen to. I wanted something that was constant over 30 minutes at least so that I could lose myself rather than hearing a track start knowing it was 6 minutes and 43 seconds long. Various podcasts were perused and I was trying to find any Ray Bradbury short stories. I used to own a book of short stories by him (it may even have been this 100 of His Most Celebrated Tales) which I’d like to read again. I ended up though at Cory Doctorow’s site http://craphound.com and he had a 5 part podcast of I, Robot. I’ve seen the film and read the Asimov version so this sounded decent – and parts 1 and 2 weighed in at 28 minutes. Perfect.

I’ve heard Americans speak before on films, in the news, I met one of them once and I’ve had a conversation with Jennifer some time ago. But that was conversational talk – and an American reading a book is quite strange. I was brought up on Jackanory with it’s perfect diction and narration. I am – obviously – surrounded by people who speak English in a variety of ways but for the spoken word it has been an English person. Their intonation is broadly mine, their pattern of speech is familiar. Cory’s voice threw me completely. Apart from the small introduction about his hotel room and agenda which was unexpected, I sat there rowing telling myself that he was reading it all wrong. He is an accomplished speaker and an author so he knows the use of language but his emphasis was all wrong. The pattern of his talking was off, even the moments where he took a breath seemed wrong. I’m sure to a fellow american that everything was just right and I’m trying not to say that it was bad, but it was wrong for me. Instead of me concentrating on the words to build a vision I had to concentrate to build the picture after getting the words first – that sounds wrong – I was having to concentrate more on how it was said rather than what was said. That’s wrong too.
Had I not been at the gym set on a 30 minute task I would have stopped it. As it was I completed the 30 minutes the first 28 of which was the story. (The cop’s phone and gun don’t work, bots have been fried and ……. I have to listen next time I’m rowing) but it was hard work. The narration got in the way if that makes sense. But maybe a podcast by an english person would get the same reception over there? It’s cool he did the story though.

The Smoking Gun discover that James Frey made it all up.
That guy is a complete bastard for lying then and now.

Current reading: Bill Bryon’s Short History of Everything. Information snippets – appropriate I thought.

The last 3 books I’ve read have all dealt with abuse issues.
First it was The Kid, then Out of the dark and lastly Sickened and although each book has a safe ending, I’ve found the effect draining.

The second book hit home in some ways – Out of the dark because that’s what it is like, both from personal experience and from the point of caring for people in the past. It’s a book I connected with on certain levels, more so than other abuse books I’ve read, and I would certainly recommend it as one of those books you should just read.. don’t know why exactly because if you’ve never been there, never got near those points you won’t fully understand, but it’ll open your eyes to not what has gone on – in some ways the actual event, compared to what the mind does as a result are lesser. It’s a powerful thing is the mind, scarily so – and we think we know ourselves too.

To divert myself, the next two on my list are Six Thinking Hats by Edward de Bono, and A Short History of Nearly Everything by Bill Bryson.

<sarcasm>And right now, I’m going to take huge chunks of code out of WinXP and when it doesn’t work, email a complaint to Microsoft.</sarcasm>

Instead of writing about books I have just read, here are two I just cannot finish.
It’s not that they are boring necessarily – though in the end they are – it’s just that I cannot get ‘into’ them far enough to generate the will to complete them.

J bought me this just after it was published, and with Leicester being a very ethnically mixed city, it was a case of ‘at the back of the shop and from under a counter already in a bag’ due to the controversy. It puzzled me why people were dying because of this book, it puzzled me that a death sentence was passed on the author by people who probably hadn’t even read it and it puzzled me that a book that portrayed Christ in some wierd manner would not be received with such hostilty.
Page 15 is where I stopped the first time, and I have not yet got past page 25. I have tried to force myself to read this, even if it is about religion (a subject I have had forced into me enough thank you), but to no avail. It’s dull, duller than dull in fact. I would like to able to say I have read it, but I can only claim that it still looks as good as they day it was purchased through a lack of use. It’s hardback, and even the dustcover is in mint condition.

A better title might be ‘Women get religion’. Every chapter results in Wurtzel bringing ‘the Lord’ or close to that into the subject of ‘difficult’ females. Having read ‘Prozac Nation’ I was hoping for something as deep if not lighter, but this book grabs a point and seem to wrangle to it death. Either it’s a very deep book and I’ve not got the concentration, or it’s a very deep book and I just don’t grasp the subject well enough, or it’s just a very deep book. Must have tried several times again to read this, even just in smaller chunks, but it loses me and swamps me at the same time. Nice cover though :)