What makes you happy ?

A couple of posts ago I mentioned that I was debating a site move. Someone left a snide comment that because this was on the web I could do what I wanted then move on and reinvent myself. I am changing domains, I do intend to blog less contentiously, I do intend to blog better but I’m not doing it to reinvent myself.

This blog started in it’s current form in January 2004. Between then and now my family has changed, we went through bankruptcy, my mental health went from up to down many times and has now settled somewhere closer to the norm, I have aged and now see certain things in a different light, much of my anger and frustration has waned (though it will return of that I am sure) and none of this is reinvention. It’s how things are and things change. This domain is now wrapped around memories and choices which I made at the time and they were right at the time - but much like the haircuts we get, the clothes we wear, the foods we eat and maybe even the music we like our tastes over time change. We are no different than we were 5 years ago because we are still the same person but we are very different on the inside. Just because it is on the net does not mean it has to stay on the net. Just because there is digital evidence at archive.org does not mean you should be able to come back to a site to see the same state. I’m not ashamed of what was here, I would defend what I said at the time, my family all know and have read whatever they wish it’s just that I will feel more comfortable without it around me - in precisely the same way that I left ‘podz’ behind.

In around 2001 I met some people from uk.people.bodyart for the first time. We all shared an interest in bodyart but if we were all to meet up again then while our interest maybe close to the same level our participation would have dropped (I’d not let Martin pierce my hand again for instance…) But we aren’t reinventing ourselves - we are just changing as people do.

I get some comments on really old posts and when I go back to read the post I most of the time have no clue what on earth I was on when I wrote whatever the post was. It reads like it was written by a stranger - and given what has happened between then and now maybe I would be.

Am I doing it because of work? Nope. If you have read this blog for a long time you will have seen the post frequency fall and just recently it fell a lot more. That happened incidentally. The recent part - yes there was a reason and no it was not work.

Anyway…… all the posts and pages here were made private. I’m not deleting it, but it’s just for me should I choose (which is like those embarrassing photos we all have but won’t throw away but won’t show). Some posts are back published - those I like or whose comments are well worth reading ( I apologise for the feed doing what it did). Some other posts will follow because I know they exist I just can’t find them yet. The new domain is bought (today, so there is no history to google…) and when there is a theme I’ll drop back to this post and edit the link in.

There were:
3,150 posts.
10,148 comments.
2,063 different nicknames represented in the comments.

Post 3152 will not happen.

Thanks for putting up with me here :)