What makes you happy ?

The passage of time has dulled my appetite for the rowing machine (plus my technique is shot) so I’m spending lots more time on the x-trainer. Which is okay - I can watch TV. It was Diagnosis Murder the other day. Gripping stuff. Today though the gadget I plug the phones into was broken, the new music in the zen hadn’t transferred well so I had no distractions. Bad. Until this lad came in.
A genuine chav. Off-white long shorts, England top, burberry checked baseball cap, expression like a bulldog chewing a wasp. He wanders around the machines for a bit then perches on a bike. He then proceeds to sit upright and pedal with no obvious resistance. His feet were a positive blur. He is sat still, arms folded, looking at everything going on in the gym behind him (the bikes are at the front under the TV’s with the mirrors in front of them) and if you saw him from the waist up you would have no idea he was exercising. You know the Road Runner cartoon? Where the feet are a blur but everything else is clear and crisp? It was like that. Apart from the sweating. Naturally the guy is sweating. Nothing unusual in that. He finishes his ‘ride’, his feet appear and he wanders off around the machines again. Still sweating. He left some minutes later and despite the sweating and the heat he hadn’t even touched the baseball cap. It remained firmly in place. Chav and Proud.

(The thing with his feet whirring round.. I can’t be the only person who sees others on real bikes who are going along a flat road in 1st gear. Their feet are spinning like mad things while they barely move forward. There is no economy of energy there - none. Why do they do that? Can’t they find the gears? If they drive do they never leave 1st gear? How do they cope on hills? Weird.)